Lifestyle

Actors boost tax vibe

Thirsty Cow is purely fiction. Any similarities with actual events or something you dreamt once is purely coincidence. Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily held by anybody.
Thirsty Cow is purely fiction. Any similarities with actual events or something you dreamt once is purely coincidence. Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily held by anybody.

THE Federal Government's controversial carbon tax has received a boost after it was supported by several actors.

Ordinary punter Bill Jones said he had previously been opposed to the tax but, after seeing it endorsed by actors, he was now fully on board.

"As an ordinary punter I never really trusted those climate scientists with their fancy degrees who predicted global warming but if the actors believe the planet is warming, that's good enough for me," he said.

"I always thought that taxes were bad for me but now I realise they are good for my grandchildren. I feel warm all over now. I only wish the tax was going to be higher."

Bill said he read that actor Cate Blanket, who appears in the pro-carbon tax advertisements, had actual solar panels on her roof.

"I think she must know a lot about carbon and the sun and the wind and that sort of stuff so she's very believable on the issue," Bill said. "I think she might have even played a climate scientist in a movie once."

Bill was also impressed that renowned Australian actor Michael Carton was getting behind the tax. Carton is best remembered as Uncle Harry in The Sullivans, a loveable rogue constantly looking at wild new schemes to make money.

Bill said Carton knew what he was talking about because he lived on the edge of an airport and understood "the vibe of the thing".

Prime Minister Julia Gizzard said now that actors were supporting the tax Australians would recognise that it was based on solid science and fear mongering.

She compared the carbon tax to the banning of uranium mining in Kakadu 30 years ago and trotted out ageing former PM Bob Hawker to try to explain the connection.

Ordinary punter Bill said he had listened carefully to Mr Hawker and believed the two issues were identical.

"Banning mining in a swamp and taxing things are practically twin concepts," he explained. "I now realise that without a carbon tax Kakadu will be over-run with cane toads and the world will be destroyed by a nuclear explosion, like in that movie, possibly starring Cate Blanket."

The world has been obsessed with carbon since former future US President Al Bore made a movie showing pictures of melted glaciers and several charts suggesting the planet was screwed.

Opposition leader Tony Abshot said he had been scared of Cate Blanket since her elf character Galadriel did a demon freak-out in Lord of the Rings.

"I thought she was pretty good in Harry Potter," he said.

Thirsty Cow is fiction. It is not recommended for serious readers. It contains occasional coarse language and things that don't make sense.

Topics:  opinion, thirsty cow


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