Lifestyle

On behalf of all women, thanks Miranda Kerr - for nothing

Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career
Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career Contributed

ON BEHALF of the female population of the western world, I'd like to give a very big thanks to Miranda Kerr - for nothing.

It's hard enough convincing your hubby that, having carried an actual human being (and many donuts) inside your body for nine months, things don't just snap back into their original position when the baby arrives, without having the likes of supermodel Kerr legging it down the catwalk with everything bouncing in the right places mere months after giving birth to a 10-pound child.

My jaw dropped simultaneously with those across the world when Miranda strutted her stuff as a Victoria's Secret runway model 10 months after the birth of her son, Flynn, in November last year.

Columnist Amanda Coop.
Columnist Amanda Coop. Alistair Brightman

My own bub was only a couple of months old at the time and it's fair to say I was a tad envious of her post-baby figure (let's face it, I would have been a tad envious even if I hadn't just had a bub).

Now, if the Hollywood rumour mills are to be believed (and why wouldn't they be?) she's set to do it all over again - and make scores more of us lament our physical inadequacies.

Kerr has been spotted  wearing a "floaty" dress and emerging from a doctor's appointment (insert melodramatic gasp here) so I guess that's proof enough for all the magazines to run with the story.

I'm hoping Kerr herself and hubby Orlando Bloom would get something a little more concrete, such as a positive pregnancy test or an ultrasound, before sharing the news with their families.

It's hard to tell from the photos of her so-called "bump" whether she's really expecting, since it's still somewhat smaller than my "ate too much over the weekend" bump.

For the record, no magazines have run any photos of me in floaty dresses speculating that I might be about to unleash Coop Jr the Second upon the world (and just as bloody well, since I'm not and every woman knows the most embarrassing thing that can possibly ever happen to you is being mistaken for being up the duff when you're not).

No doubt if she is preggers we'll find out in due course and watch, seething, as she gains the approximate weight of the child, then drops the weight and flies off to Paris to do a bikini shoot all before the placenta has hit the medical waste bin.

I'm not saying Miranda should turn into a fat, stretch-marked blob just to make the rest of us feel better, but it would certainly help if she did.

What happened to the Aussie spirit of taking one for the team, Miranda?

Topics:  birth editors picks miranda kerr model motherhood mum



Time for change to end political privilege

Sussan Ley has resigned after her expenses problems, but that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Politicians really do take Australian taxpayers for fools

LETTER: Wrong location for housing development

Trying to find a good location for affordable housing in Grafton.

Mistakes can negatively affect value of Grafton citizens' properties

OPINION: Pauline, we need you here, not with Donald

If Australia needs to have a maverick politician emerge in these turbulent times, Pauline Hanson is a pretty harmless alternative.

Cartoon character, not a social threat

Local Partners

Book 'em, kiddo: Sale attracts bumper crowd

Whoever said books were passe would eat those words if they were at the Maclean Bowling Club on Saturday.


Artist program to link to gallery theme

VALUABLE STINT: Indigenous artist Karla Dickens at work in Grafton Regional Gallery's studio during her 2010 artist's residency.

Gallery encouraging indigenous artists to take up residency offer

See the historical heritage horses

OPEN DAY: Enjoy a day out learning or finding your next dream horse from the Guy Fawkes River National Park.

Guy Fawkes Heritage Horse Association Inc. open day.

7 things to do this weekend

The Maclean Rotary Book Sale is on this weekend and always attracts a big crowd of buyers.

Great places to spend some time

50 Shades actress on why she hates the film

Dornan and Johnson’s frequent sex scenes were ‘awkward’ to film. Picture: SuppliedSource:Supplied

Jamie Dornan doesn’t blame you for hating 50 Shades

Chris Hemsworth’s X-rated compliment to former co-star

Australian actor Chris Hemsworth poses on the red carpet for the European premiere of the film 'Avengers: Age of Ultron' in London on April 21, 2015.

THOR star once paid former Home and Away actress a lewd compliment.

'I can't keep my mouth shut any longer'

Singer George Michael.

George Michael’s cousin blasts singer’s boyfriend Fadi Fawaz.

Fresh faces: NCIS gets a shake up with new cast members

The new cast of NCIS, from left, Rocky Carroll, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, David McCallum, Brian Dietzen, Wilmer Valderrama, Emily Wickersham, Mark Harmon, Duane Henry and Jennifer Esposito.

THREE new characters join naval drama for season 14.

First the Onesie, now an Xbox One S inflatable controller

Fancy an inflatable Xbox One S controller?

Inflatable controller 'perfect sidekick' for Australia Day party

Sarah Harris: Here’s what Amber Sherlock should’ve done

Studio 10 and Shark Tank presenter Sarah Harris.

STUDIO 10 host says Sherlock could’ve avoided the subsequent uproar.

Historical home leaves family's hands after 75 years

SALE CONFIRMED: The Gympie Regional   Realty team which sold the Ramsey property are (back) Mel Gastigar, Dorothy Palmer and Margaret Cochrane, with (front) home seller Terri-Jayne Ramsey.

Ramsey family played a huge role in Gympie's growth.

Pat Rafter's $18m Coast home proves hot property

PAT'S PAD: The Sunshine Beach home of tennis ace Pat rafter is on the market for a record price.

"It's a record for our company and for the Sunshine Coast.''

INTERACTIVE MAP: Which Northern Rivers towns boomed in 2016?

BOOM TOWNS: While Ballina properties continued to attract top dollar in 2016, it was areas to the south that experienced price hikes, including Wardell, Evans Head and Woodburn.

Click on our map to find the median sale price in your town

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!