Lifestyle

Communicate before angry button push

COMMUNICATING with your kids is like dieting, exercising or cleaning the kitchen floor. You know you should do it. You feel guilty for not doing it. And every Monday you promise yourself you'll make a bigger effort. But to be fair, it's just not that easy to communicate with kids, especially when they're your own.

For a start, the first few years they don't talk (it's a pity it's not until later you realise these were the golden years of parenting) and once they've learned to talk, you can't get them to shut up. It's one question after another: "Why do I have eyebrows?" "Why can't I have chocolate Paddle Pops for breakfast?" "Why do you and daddy have the bedroom door locked?" and "What happened to the real yellow Wiggle?"

Fast forward a few years and boys do nothing but grunt while the girls mix it up with a little yelling, a lot of dramatic sighs and some high pitched squealing (although it's a given that at this stage whining is still prevalent in both sexes).

And just when you think this phase is going to last forever, they go teenage techno, get a mobile and communication is never the same.

Don't get me wrong, there's a lot to be said for mobile phones. I'd be lost without mine. They're a wonderful invention and a great form of communication. How else would we find out just by standing in a supermarket queue that Phil isn't sure what size nappies to buy and Sandra is pretending to still be at the office because she's forgotten the babysitter wanted to knock off early.

It's hard to miss most adults talking on their mobile phones. They're loud. Especially in supermarkets.

Kids on the other hand are a whole other story. The only thing you'll hear when a teenager is on the phone is the fast and furious clicking of their grimy little fingernails and the odd snigger as they speed type their text messages.

Call me old fashioned but I'm pretty sure Graham Alexander Bell didn't spend all his time inventing the telephone just so we could go back to a form of letter writing.

If I sound a little bitter there's good reason. I still haven't mastered the art of texting. And, in my defence, I've gotta say it's not as easy as it looks. Firstly those letters on my phone are ridiculously tiny. And secondly you need the precision of a skilled surgeon to send a text. Text the message "good luck" without your glasses and you could easily be in trouble. Then there's the whole new text language thing to be learned. My youngest sent me a text the other day and I had to find an interpreter (someone under 25) to tell me what it said. Apparently "hru wud ily cya mwah" is text talk for "Hi Mum, how are you? What are you doing? I love you. Bye, big kiss".

Grateful as I was that my youngest was thinking of me, she should have been thinking of her dental appointment. She was late. It took me almost five minutes but I managed to text back, "Yr l8t 4 dentist appt where r u?". Her reply (which came back in under two seconds) was "yyssw kyho". I had to refer "yyssw kyho" to my interpreter. The translation? "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, whatever. Keep your hair on". My reaction? I'm still looking for the buttons.

Family Taming is a weekly humour column written by Wendy Andrews.

Topics:  opinion



Cosmic clashes set for local derby battle

STRUGGLING: It is always a tight tussle when the Yamba Buccaneers meet the Iluka Cossacks in the Clash of the Heads local derby.

Buccs look to reverse losing trend in Clash of the Head local derby.

Education a worthy spend: Hogan

Female high school student studying

Gonksi 2.0 model still benefits Valley according to Kevin Hogan

Support for Kara's treadmill marathon explodes

Former Grafton and now NSW cricketer Kara Sutherland bowling to cricket legend Sir Viv Richards. Photo: MARK NEWSHAM

Support for treadmill marathon thrills organiser Kara Sutherland.

Local Partners

Baywatch: Lifeguards with model looks return for 'filthy fun'

TWO chiselled men emerge from the surf. One looks like a god. The other, well, he's gasping for air and doesn't realise there's a jellyfish on his chest.

Bello Winter Music to sprout local Daisies

SPECIAL PERFORMANCE: Husky are performing at the Bello Winter Music festival in July.

Clarence bands take on Bellingen for music festival

Model Bella Hadid's see-through dress shocks in Cannes

US model Bella Hadid attends the Cinema Against AIDS amfAR gala 2017 held at the Hotel du Cap, Eden Roc in Cap d'Antibes, France, 25 May 2017.

It’s like she’s become addicted to shock value.

Working dogs put on a show at Ulmarra

The skills of man's best friend will be put to the test with the Ulmarra Dog Trials on June 24-25.

Man's best friend will be put the test at the Ulmarra Dog Trials.

No room for morbid fans

Chris Cornell.

Fans want to stay in the hotel room where Chris Cornell died

Star Wars' 1977 Stormtrooper head banger confesses

A Stormtrooper is responsible for the biggest blunder in a Star Wars movie. Picture: Supplied

Man in most famous blooper in Star Wars history breaks silence

Lyn's knock-out show gets her to next round on The Voice

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS: Lyn Bowtell is through to the battle rounds on The Voice.

'It was bitter sweet to win like that'

How Toowoomba house prices compare in Australia

For sale sign in front of home.

Here's what $700,000 will buy you in Toowoomba, Brisbane and Sydney

One of Maryborough's most historic homes is still for sale

FULL OF HISTORY: Trisha Moulds is owner of the historic Tinana state known as Rosehill. The beautiful home is currently for sale.

It has been the scene of both joy and tragedies over the years.

The face of the Sunshine Coast's overpriced rental crisis

Alyx Wilson had to rent a $385 unit in Currimundi because the market was too competitive for cheaper rental housing. She is now renting a room from friends who own a house in Currimundi, and says its much more affordable.

Young people feel the strain in competitive, expensive rental market

WATCH: Take a tour of a tradie's dream home

5a Bruce Hiskens Court, Norman Gardens, going for $720,000. INSET: Lea Taylor.

Huge block with potential for anything

REVEALED: Where it's cheaper to pay off a mortgage than rent

6/190 Ewing Rd, Woodridge, is listed for offers $215,000. Picture: realestate.com.au

Brisbane suburbs where it is cheaper to buy than rent

Ready to SELL your property?

Post Your Ad Here!