THE wine is fine, if you can get to it.
Alas, the plastic seal around the trendy glass stopper can only be removed using the Large Hadron Collider, a chainsaw or five broken fingernails.
It might have had a clever little tag but I couldn't find it. All I wanted was wine, not an intelligence test, or to marvel at some design student's new project or solve a puzzle created by the marketing department.
You have probably guessed I am in a bad mood and certainly not in the mood to break anything else today even if - no, correction, especially even if - it's just fingernails. That hurts, and I don't like pain.
The failure of the whole concept was compounded by the fact that by the time I got to the wine I was so grumpy my first impression was to tip it straight out and write a scathing review about how it was the most insipid thing I had tried all day, all week - even all year.
So, the reality the wine is nothing like that, indeed quite refreshing and suitably different to average Sunday afternoon fare as to be almost described as eye opening if not bottle opening, if you could just achieve that.
It's like computer upgrades. Each new one introduces something that you don't need nor understand (alright, clever dicks, those two may be related) and removes something that was really useful, pondering why they hadn't come up with it sooner, and upon which you relied for your livelihood.
But no longer, and this brings us neatly back to wine seals.
After suffering for millennia with dodgy corks and forgetting the cork screw on picnics at which you needed one to get one, smart wineries finally settled on screw caps, albeit not without bashing people around the ears for 30 years, trying to convince them to make the obvious choice between spoiled wine or unspoiled, annoyance or convenience, a screw or not, why would you then go back to something so awkward, unless you really didn't like your teenage daughter's new boyfriend?
But then again ...
Mitolo McLaren Vale (small batch series) Vermentino 2016, $28: Yep, this is the culprit but they've probably fixed it by now. Naturally we did finally break in. 8.6/10