GRAPE EXPECTATIONS: Hats off to Panama
I WAS thinking about sending all my money to Panama, but then I found out they charge more to conceal it than I actually earn, so I bought a Panama hat instead and now I can't wear it because our cover is blown.
Now I have to lie and tell people I couldn't live with myself if I had so much money that I could buy a medium-sized regional town but didn't pay any tax.
I bung on about the sort of people who happily drive on roads paid for by hospital cleaners and hairdressers yet prefer to pay their money to an accountant and a law firm in Panama just so they don't have to pay the ATO and help out at home.
You would think that the natural reaction to having more money would be "bewdy, I've got more to share" but nuh, we just want more for ourselves, and to stash it away in Central America or one of those funny little islands in Britain that no-one can find on a map.
You can't blame someone for wanting that can you? They say they're not doing anything illegal.
Like Clive Palmer, the 800 odd Aussie clients of 'Motza Fonseca', are operating within the law, allegedly. I'm guessing those laws were made by people with squillions, but that's not the point.
You have to give people something to aspire to. Like dodging tax. 'Aspirational voters', Joe Hockey called us.
But what is it about money that makes people behave like this?
Is there an aromatherapy thing emanating from $100 bills that makes people subconsciously want more, and more, and cheat to do it?
Did parents say to these people as kids "when you get a new toy, the first thing you should say is 'I want another one'. And when you have lots of toys, hide them down the back of the shed, otherwise other kids will want you to share them".
Sadly money is like wine.
When you find a good one, or a good winery, or label, what do you do? Immediately hide it from the government and pack it off to Panama.
Hang on, who would do that? Have to ask Mossack Fonseca.