GRAPE EXPECTATIONS: We’ve been April fooled
THE fun just never stops it seems and I've never laughed so much without blowing stuff out of my nostrils, but it was one of the best April Fool's jokes ever perpetrated.
Who would have thought our government had a sense of humour? The dourness of Scotty, the gritty resolve of Eric, the statesmanlike seriousness of Barnaby…actually, how could anyone take Barnaby seriously?
But that's irrelevant.
On April 1 a great newspaper headline trumpeted how 'Big Oil' had been doing some pretty big, bad, things. That's wasn't the really funny bit though.
In the same issue a story revealed how 'Big Retailers' underpaid staff. Hilarious for shareholders but that's not the funny bit either.
Another story followed about the Australian Stock Exchange chief quietly resigning over some impropriety.
The head of the body that overlooks listed company's propriety in the stew over impropriety? That is pretty funny in a sick sort of way that perhaps only Alan Bond can fully appreciate.
But that's not the hilarious April 1 con either.
On the next page yet another story about how few of those listed companies hadn't paid tax. Oh, how big business laughed.
Amazingly on the same page, education providers (basically private organisations replacing TAFE colleges) were being pursued by the ACCC for unconscionable conduct, and absconding with millions of taxpayer funds.
Hilarious to see disabled illiterates stumbling on the stairs to the ombudsman's office. Imagine how the Ombudspeople chortled when those who could, made it to the first form to fill out?
Funny, but that wasn't the April Fool punchline either.
More hilarity from Uncle Arthur Sino's misdemeanours, when the Electoral Commission wouldn't remove his name from their report on the dodgy dealings of the organisation he headed.
Haha, that's like James Hird asking ASADA to remove his name because he didn't concern himself with that sort of thing. Soooo funny.
But no, the really funny bit was the government's reaction to all of the above is to insist on a building industry commission and cut penalty rates for low paid workers.
Haha, so it's those crook hard hats ripping the country off that's holding us all back?
Gosh we chortled. Perhaps the unions should hire a Barista? But not on a Sunday mate. Haha.
Happy April Fool's day. Meanwhile here's the worst wines we've had this week…haha, just kidding.