MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JULY 17: (EDITORS NOTE: Image produced with multiple exposure in camera.) Victorian Health Minister Jenny Mikakos and Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews speak to the media at the daily briefing on July 17, 2020 in Melbourne, Australia. Victoria has recorded 428 new cases of coronavirus overnight and three new deaths, bringing the total number of deaths in the state from COVID
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JULY 17: (EDITORS NOTE: Image produced with multiple exposure in camera.) Victorian Health Minister Jenny Mikakos and Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews speak to the media at the daily briefing on July 17, 2020 in Melbourne, Australia. Victoria has recorded 428 new cases of coronavirus overnight and three new deaths, bringing the total number of deaths in the state from COVID

I am, you are, we are … Victorians

I AM, you are, we are … Victorians.

Actually SloMo, no, we're not and we're not sure where you are going with that one, but it's a wonder the ABC haven't latched onto it and wrecked it like every other song they've touched. Although, hang on, correction, they've already wrecked that one.

Usually it's advertisements that wreck our popular songs, typically car manufacturers commandeering the latest 20-something hit in a weird attempt to persuade people that their compilation of metal, rubber and plastic is just as cool or would magically render the driver thus so they could pick up attractive chicks (and blokes) and take them to the beach.

Of course that never works, and they just become known as the car brand that bastardised my favourite song.

But what's ABC's excuse?

We all love Aunty, even the Andrew Bolt's of the world who would not exist without it, but why waste good taxpayers' money (and bad) on rights to songs they then ruin by thrashing them mercilessly until we want to harm the author and anyone who happens to be within cooee?

Which brings us back to our 'could'a been, should'a been' national anthem, I am, you are…sick of it now. Ruined! Hopefully Bruce Woodley got heaps of dough for having his song spoiled for everyone.

The Masters Apprentices Do What You Wanna Do is the latest victim. Completely buggered by repetition as an ABC promo. Turn Up Your Radio will be next. More like turn it off, ABC.

Perhaps they exhausted the budget on those two because Julia Zamira really wanted to call her show, Home Delivery, 'Jump In My Car' but couldn't afford the name let alone the song which is covered in the intro… without words.

It costs a lot of money to use popular songs so surely that money could be given to local up and coming artists to produce some music of their own?

Win-win, and people would still have their favourites for whenever 1980s teenagers have a few drinks and crank up Jimmy and the boys… cheap wine…

Speaking of which…

(Callipari Wines (Victoria)) Ned Kelly Red (Australia's Most Wanted) Tawny, NV, $17. Could fortifieds come back? Could Ned Kelly? Did it, or he, ever go away. So many rhetorical questions to be answered around a campfire. 8.8/10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Callipari Wines (Victoria)) Ned Kelly Red (Australia's Most Wanted) Chocolate Tawny, NV, $17. Haha, great marketing, Aussie's most wanted. Pretty mad stuff too, fortified choccy. Keep the kids away. Poor Ned, you're better off dead…8.6/10.

 

 


 

 

 

Mr Riggs McLaren Vale Baxter's Block Shiraz Cabernet 2018, $30. For years Baxter was only ever a character in obscure American 1950s sitcoms, now there's a million kids called, of which this is one of the better. 9.3/10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr Riggs Adelaide Hills 'Cold CHALK' Chardonnay 2018, $30. Deriving its name from the chalky wines of the Loire, perhaps, this is a super smart nod to Old World chardonnay, perfect for a Cold Chisel abuse by the ABC, a la Choir of Hard Knocks. 9.5/10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Avosh Australian Bottle Brush Honey Vodka (NV) $69. Struggling to buy anything these days without lemon myrtle, wattle seed or bush lemon …well, here's something. Have it with ice, in a martini or on toast. 9.2/10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patritti Adelaide April Red Grenache Pedro Ximinez 2020, $ Grown right in the Adelaide suburb Marion, right next to a main road and in view of a dirty big shopping centre, how's that for low local miles? Wonder iof they have it at Dan's Marion? And it's really clever, juicy stuff! Go Patritti. 9.3/10.



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