Grape Expectations: It’s all Greek to me
IT IS a funny old world when people still trot out the old adage that the grass is always greener... Clearly from the viewpoint of half the population this is not the case.
For instance our neighbour's is perfectly green and mown within an inch of its life while ours is patchy, full of holes, weeds, remnants and snow of colourful dog toys formerly filled with horrible plastic stuffing.
From where they sit, the grass is pretty ordinary.
What about that old chestnut 'a picture paints a thousand words'? Okay, the original Chinese saying is 'a picture is worth more than ten thousand words', but so what, why do you think we've got Instagram?
Years ago an old bloke suggested that 'a change is as good as a holiday'.
Well, I don't know what sort of holidays he had, but I'll take the holiday any day, thank you very much.
In the fruit bowl the other day was a rotten, mouldy apple and all the other bits of fruit touching it were similarly affected. But what about the old Jackson Five song 'one bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch'?
A blatant lie, probably initiated and perpetrated by Coles and Woolworths fresh food departments.
One of the most puzzling old sayings is 'a watched kettle never boils'. Sure watching a kettle boil is about as interesting as rugby league commentary, but even that finishes after 80 minutes, another similarity.
Obviously we now live in a world where these old sayings are completely irrelevant and it's time we got some new ones.
Advertisers try, but even that TV ad where the Aussie couple dinning out in a Tuscan restaurant pondering investments ask the advice of the restaurateur who allegedly replies "a ship in the harbour is safe, but that is not what it is built for'.
Tell that to a ferry driver.
Anyway, what he actually says is, 'In vino veritas. Try the Assyrtiko and all will become clear'.
So there is one adage that works! Speaking of which :Kali Riza Xinomavro Amyndeon VINTAGE: 2012 PRICE: $18.50 RATING: 8.5/10 You thought assyrtiko was assy-tricky, try this, the predominant grape of Macedonia, written in Cyrillic! Luckily it's not, except on the back label. Light (13 per cent), bright (IQ 120), wildly fragrant and dry as a wooden (Greek) god, have it with souvlaki. (Amyndeon is the region). Gundog Estate Rare Game Shiraz (Hunter) VINTAGE: 2014 PRICE: $50 RATING: 8.4/10 Like a bird in the hand, the rare flavours of the Rare Game might be a bit of a rarity for some tasters but it grows on you. Have it with rare game. Gundog Estate (ACT) Shiraz VINTAGE: 2014 PRICE: $40 RATING: 9.1/10 The rather unsavoury image on the label might put punters off, revisiting poor Cecil the Lion's fate. But if you like duck or pheasant or quail, this would be a delicious accompaniment, humanely despatched of course. Huntington Estate Special Reserve Shiraz VINTAGE: 2011 PRICE: $36 RATING: 8.4/10 Like old labels, old sayings sometimes need a bit of jazzing up…a wine in time leads to nine. Huntington Estate Block 3 Cabernet Sauvignon VINTAGE: 2011 PRICE: $65 RATING: 8.6/10 Two's company, 3's a block party. If you're going to do your block, this'll do nicely.