The concept of keyless ignition in cars is great except for one thing - where are you supposed to put the keys?
The concept of keyless ignition in cars is great except for one thing - where are you supposed to put the keys? iStock

Keyless ignition an other new age follies

What's going on with keyless ignition?

Look, if we won't have a Royal Commission into public service excesses and dodgy politicians, the least we could do is have one into the folly of keyless ignition.

What was so wrong with sticking a key into a slot to make something work that we had to go wireless or Bluetooth or whatever?

Sure, it looks cool, and the first kid on the block rightly cooed and glowed with pride as if they were the first person in the street with a colour telly, and everyone wanted one… until they got one.

So you can unlock the car doors from 100 metres. Big whoop. You're not going anywhere until you get in, unless you drive a Tesla, which can drive the car up to greet you, I get that. Very cool and I want one, but as soon as you get in, it's like any other keyless thing… where do you put the keys?

If it was just the car key, easy, but there's house keys, office keys, storage shed keys (everyone has one apparently), lover's house keys - ooh, sorry Gladys - letterbox keys, keys for which you have you have long forgotten the purpose.

That huge wad used to dangle, happily and quietly from the steering column but now has to find a new home somewhere else in the cabin.

All clever little trays and cup-holders are full already. You can't put them in the glove box. That's for gloves and tonnes of other stuff that you will never use. Invariably you will put them in many places over time and lose them regularly.

You can't just leave them in your pocket, they're too bulky and pointy. Which begs the question, why do keys frequently still have an actual key poking out of them. WTF? (BTW that means What's That For.)

Idiocy, and likely just another stupid idea in automotive development decided by focus groups.

Hey, here's an idea, car manufacturers, why not include a key slot, even if it doesn't do anything, but then again if it's there, why not?

Now where did I put the key to the wine cellar?



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