GW Virus strikes
A VIRULENT virus is being spread at international climate conferences.
Called the GW virus (short for global warming virus), the symptoms are a psychotic fear of the word "carbon", a compulsion to blame human industry for every bad weather event, an urge to weave a warm bias into every weather report, and a morbid fascination with windmills.
The GW virus was first identified in the British Parliament in 1988 and spread quickly to the vulnerable BBC.
It is an airborne virus and was soon spread by junketing politicians to NASA and the UN, thence to an earth conference in Rio in 1992, and then to Kyoto in 1997.
The infection peaked in Copenhagen in 2009, when thousands of politicians, academics, officials and reporters became feverish.
Because of its isolation, Australia had not developed immunity to this virus, and it quickly took root in the ABC, thoroughly infecting many politicians and then spread to the CSIRO and every university in the land.
In Australia, incurable cases are sent to an isolation ward - the Climate Commission - headed by GW sufferer, Tim Flannery.
Like vultures perched on a dead tree, these dedicated doomsters see droughts and heat waves in every weather event, even when large areas of the country are suffering floods and unseasonal cold.
The only protection against the GW virus is immunisation with a shot of climate history vaccine. This helps "at risk" alarmists to accept that there is nothing new about fires, floods, droughts, cyclones, heat waves, snow storms or variations in carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
To curb the spread of this virus, infected sufferers must be banned from climate conferences and all infected politicians must be quarantined in their offices.