MAX CRUS: Thanks for the mammaries, Facebook, not

Yes, it's that time of year that the entire media is on holidays and automated "Year in Review" fillers fill our airwaves and printed pages…um, okay, not so much the latter lately.

In between overs at the cricket, between legs at the darts, between legs at the beach, between Netflix binges (instead of cool eagle-eye slow-pan cityscapes), the highlights and the lowlights of last year are thrust upon us.

But not this year. 2020 is blending seamlessly into 2021.

Thanks, Donald Trump. Not since You Can't Ask That and Employable Me, has someone with serious mental health issues been so entertaining, or frightening.

Thanks Covid. It's impossible to tell the difference between now and eight months ago when it comes to the virus that stopped a Formula 1 Grand Prix. Or a world depending on your priorities.

Thanks Facebook, whose whole raison d'etré is getting people to reflect upon their lame lives, looking back on stuff that only just happened, antagonising people to the point of extreme violence and conflict, including massacres, beheadings, and cruelty to animals, all of which is fair game so long as Zuckerberg makes a buck-er two, unless you post images of naked breasts.

Yep, Facebook too is reflective all year round. Which provides a great opportunity, what about a Facebook Free Day campaign? Better yet a Facebook Free Month?

Are there any months left that aren't promoting a cause?

February is pretty ordinary generally. Hot, short month complex, can't decide how many days it has, back to school. Perfect. Facebook Free February! Take that Dry July, Oc-sober, Moe-vember.

Let's reclaim the art of doing nothing from Facebook (and the media).

In the xenophobic and paranoid words of our former PM, I'll decide what thoughts come into my head and the means by which they get there.

Who needs Facebook (or the media) to remind them that they did something no-one cared about four years ago or that someone reacted to their post four minutes ago? What's 'reacted' anyway?

How about read a book, walk the dog, take a photo, pour an iced tea, a G&T or a glass of wine (it's not July or October remember), and NOT tell the world about it?

Okay, so that's what I'm doing now. Well, it's not February yet.

Racecourse Lane Hunter Valley Semillon 2004, $45.

I've been saving this wine for a special occasion for ten years. It was old then. How dull is my life that I opened it yesterday out of curiosity expecting it to be cactussed. It's still fabulous and available! 9.6/10.

Racecourse Lane Hunter Valley Semillon 2004
Racecourse Lane Hunter Valley Semillon 2004 Simon Hughes

Tintilla Estate Hunter Valley 'James' Cabernet Merlot 2018, $30.

It feels so personal, drinking wine called James. Like drinking one called Julian or Trevor, it's like you got someone else's bottle, unless your name is James. 9.3/10.

Tintilla Estate Hunter Valley 'Pebbles Brief' Chardonnay 2019, $30.

There's no explanation for 'Pebbles' bit so just make it up. Flintstones maybe? It's a flinty, crisp and sharp chardonnay. 9.4/10.

Mr Riggs McLaren Vale Idle Lane Shiraz 2018
Mr Riggs McLaren Vale Idle Lane Shiraz 2018 Simon Hughes

Patina (Orange) Cabernet Sauvignon 2015, $45.

This is older than your average cabernet on the rack and has depth and charm accordingly with a hint of funk upon opening, just like me. 9.5/10.

Patina (Orange) Reserve Chardonnay 2004, $55.

That's the price for the 2017 version so maybe 15 years cellaring adds a bit more, but it would be worth it. Gorgeous stuff that shows but a (delicious) hint of age. 9.6/10.

Mr Riggs McLaren Vale Idle Lane Shiraz 2018, $35.

What better wine with which to reflect on the year gone by, or your navel? Ever reliable, solid McLaren Vale shiraz. 9.4/10.



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