Minge shouldn't make you cringe
THERE are simply too many to list.
The different names for vagina go on and on and at each turn, bring up something new that makes even the most sturdy people cringe.
You've probably been called a number of them, especially if you're a woman.
I've always thought the number of words to describe a woman's nether region as unnecessary.
However the worst part is how the words are commonly used - negatively.
Take c--- for example. It's a word a lot of Australians use to describe a mate and in its ugliest form to degrade someone with vile hatred.
In England, twat is used in a similar way, in America it's gash.
In a similar way, we use different words to make the vajayay more sexy.
The word pussy, for example, regularly used by teenage boys to describe a friend who is too scared to do something has become an oxymoron.
These words are all used to describe a part of the female anatomy, which has one of the hardest, most hardcore jobs around - giving birth - yet it's still referred to with such distaste.
I will say there are probably just as many words for penis (cock, dick, shaft, todger, knob) but I feel like the words are never used in the same way. Whereas there is so much negativity associated with being a woman.
Our bodies are judged for what they look like (men are not immune to this, but the degrees are varying), we are often treated like our personal space and ideas are not our own, and we are certainly objectified.
Our penis fly traps are subjected to either humour or harshness.
I often get stuck on those online listicles and a particular one has stuck with me where doctors sent in bizarre situations they'd experienced with patients.
One entry talked about a couple who didn't know the real name of a banana basket or even a banana, so he had to explain to the couple why their sex life wasn't working with colloquial terms.
Another couple didn't know the right terms for a minge or the dingle dangle or how to use them.
If society can't refer to a beaver by its real name, how are we supposed to teach sex education?
How are we supposed to teach respect for women?
Using the word vagina is not supposed to instil fear in the every day person.
It's not funny or gross to have one.
I can't fathom feeling embarrassed to call a vagina a vagina.
I will never be ashamed of any part of my body and nor should any other woman.
Vagina, a glossary
Vag; foof; minky; fandango; mary-ellen; flower; twat; hole; box; penis fly trap; bean; beaver; muff; gash; clunge; whispering eye; lady garden; bits; noo noo; doo-dah; minge; flange; growler; beef curtains; vajayjay; pussy; fanny; vagine; tavo; poon; tunnel of love; banana basket; furburger; pandora's box.
Belle-chose (1386) - French for "pretty thing."; Altar of Venus (1584); Netherlands (1591); Placket-lace (1593); Phoenix nest (1618); Nature's treasury (1635); Contra punctum (1653); Privy-counsel (1664); Aphrodisiacal tennis court (1665); Lady's low toupee (1721); Mount Pleasant (1748); Petticoat Lane (1790); Venerable monosyllable (1796); Fancy Article (1822); Mrs Fubbs' parlor (1823); Antipodes (1832); Thatched cottage (1835); Cyprian fountain (1846); Road to Christening (1903)
- Caitlan Charles is looking after Mid-Week while Lesley Apps is away. As you can see, she's enjoying writing the Life As I Know It column. If you'd like to send her an email and share your thoughts, email: firstname.lastname@example.org