ARE you one of those annoying people who shrieks with glee when some place glamorous comes on the telly because you've been there?
No one likes a smug person so I tried to suppress a gleeful shriek when Atlantis The Palms resort in Dubai was featured on MasterClass last week.
"I've been there," I screamed silently, not wanting to make my long-suffering husband envious even though he had been there with me. I'm thoughtful like that.
Atlantis The Palms is one of those resorts so staggeringly opulent it is impossible to keep your cool there.
You begin to act like a wide-eyed child on Christmas morning as you enter the jaw-dropping lobby and gaze up at the 10m sculpture where more than 3000 pieces of coloured blown glass ascend grandly to the 19m arched ceiling.
Don't even try to keep your jaw from dropping.
And when you stand before the 10 sq m viewing panel further in the hotel, gazing into an underwater scene where sharks, stingrays and myriad colourful fish glide gracefully among sunken treasures in a mythical lost world of Atlantis, cool flies out the door.
You're going to be yelping like a teenager and saying decidedly uncool things like "wow" and perhaps "strewth", maybe even "this is better than a poke in the eye with a rusty nail".
As for the hotel's massive water park, don't bother to pretend cool even if you've already visited dozens of water parks. This is where you must let inner child have its way and ride the Leap of Faith to plunge almost 30 metres down a near vertical freefall waterslide.
At heady resorts such as Atlantis The Palms, you simply have to give yourself permission to be uncool and just be a naive nerdy tourist.
P.S. Tempo Holidays do good deals at Atlantis the Palms. Call 1300 558 987.
TAKE ME THERE - City of Atlantis
TAKE me to Dubai and let me stay at Atlantis the Palms.
This opulent resort is a destination in itself where rubbing shoulders with celebrities and billionaires is an everyday occurrence.