Grape Expectations: The Goodes, the bad and the ugly
OKAY, listen up team. Confusion has crept into the rules of booing so here's a guide you to avoid embarrassing moments when you realise you've said something completely inappropriate.
More importantly you may avoid that moment when you fail to realise that.
Firstly it is mandatory to boo umpires whenever they award a free kick to the opposition. They are wrong.
You may boo the opposition whenever your team gets a free kick, although this is rare. The opposition should also be booed when they should have been penalised but weren't.
More importantly you should boo umpires and the opposition when your team does exactly the same thing but doesn't get away with it.
Is that clear?
You can boo an umpire because he wears his shorts too high. It's an ugly blight on the game and if any umpire is caught with his pants up, they should be pulled off.
Stop snickering Smithers.
Don't forget to boo opposition players lining up for goal.
Former players deserve booing too, especially Dermott Brereton. He was a thug and a bully, who thumped people behind play, and stood on their head in play.
It is compulsory to boo Alan Jones because he is an idiot.
If you are a listener of Alan Jones you are exempt from all rules, because we understand that you probably can't read.
Feel free to boo Andrew Bolt at leisure.
Eddie Maguire should be booed for the same reasons, and because he is associated with Collingwood.
Adam Goodes should be booed when he stages for a free kick (even by Swannies supporters), gets one (if you don't barrack for the Swans), and when he's lining up for goal (ditto).
However it is not acceptable to boo him because he is an aborigine and had the courage to point out that someone in the crowd was a bigot.
Notwithstanding she could be forgiven for thinking George Brandis had given his imprimatur for such behaviour, she was but a teenager whose parents were obviously fans of Alan Jones, Andrew Bolt and Eddie Maguire.
Curiously, she probably gets it now, while the above clearly do not, the last three in Australia to understand.
There, that's about it, in black and white, and here it is in red and white…Go Swannies.
Mr Riggs Watervale Riesling 2014, $22. This is as delightfully dry as it gets on the riesling spectrum and really wakes up tastebuds, like a tart apple. So get ready. 8.8/10.
Mr Riggs Shiraz 2012, $50. Six vintages on, still the same price and still scores 9/10. It gets better value every year, imagine how good a value it will be in 200 years.
Redman Coonawarra Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot, 2010, $30. This is like some artworks, you can see where it's come from, and where its going. Art for immediate consumption then. 8.7/10.
Redman 'The Last Row' Coonawarra Shiraz, 2013, $30 (Cellar door). Does this rhyme with snow or brow? How appropriate if this was the last row we had about racism. 8.8/10.
Poonawatta The Eden The Riesling 2015, $27 (Bottle No. 9800 of 9867). That's so close to the last bottle, how cool would that be? If I just drink another 66 bottles, which wouldn't be hard. 8.9/10.