Wife stuns with worst final decision
In an excruciating move, a vulnerable Married At First Sight wife has made the absolute worst decision and set herself up for yet another heartbreak - even more heartbreak than I experienced when I was dumped out the front of a Boost Juice kiosk.
Connie has been ignoring all the red flags Jonnie has been waving. She was blindly barrelling past them for so long, we even had to step in while holding big red "stop" signs and wearing hi-vis vests, but she didn't want to see the truth and determinedly rolled by.
Connie's adamant she can make it work with Jonnie. He's her husband, even if he doesn't want to be.
We've all tried to Connie a guy. I did it with my first boyfriend Kristian. If you asked him then, he absolutely would not have called himself my boyfriend. And if you asked him now, he'd still say we were absolutely never boyfriends. And that pretty much gives you all the insight you need about that relationship.
But do you think that stopped me? No it did not. No amount of unanswered calls or broken dates kept me away. I continued to show up to his workplace unannounced until he eventually got so freaked out he had to sit me down outside of a Boost Juice kiosk and tell me to please never contact him again.
It made me who I am today. I went from being a sad single loser and flourished into a much stronger but still sad single loser. It's called growth.
These qualities of resilience, determination and optimism are exhibited by the world's most successful people in the fields of art, science, business and stalking.
My point is, we've been warning Connie for weeks to let go of Jonnie because we're all talking from experience and we know the longer you try delay an inevitable disaster, the worse it seems.
At tonight's final commitment ceremony, she tries to delay again. But that's the thing about disasters - you can never really control when they're going to hit. And this one leaves her battered.
In preparation for the ceremony, Seb puts on his finest satin blouse.
At the ceremony, we're forced to endure another disaster: Mishel and Steve. We should take our own advice. We try to delay enduring their storyline every week but we're always inevitably smashed by it.
"I love Steve so much but I can't imagine my life without him … maybe it'll be another time but maybe this is not our time," she explains to the experts.
"You're both 80, there's literally no more time!" we yell.
"Who knows what may happen in the future," Steve pets Mishel's knee.
"Imminent death," we state.
John Aiken sets fire to his Bachelor of Psychology certificate and screams: "Ya just mates! We're bored. Bang or get off the couch!"
Then Schilling follows suit and screams, "Yeah why haven't ya banged ya wife?"
Honestly, the people have a right to know.
Both Mishel and Steve choose to stay and the experts don't even care enough to argue.
In an effort to bring some stability to the episode, we call up Michael and Stacey. Michael has received an emergency phone call alerting him that his ice cube empire is suddenly relocating to Melbourne for three months and he'll need to move far away from Stacey. Sounds totally legitimate. They both choose to stay and, finally, an example of a healthy, functional relationship.
Next up, Lizzie and Seb, who's still wearing a satin blouse.
The experts hear all about how Lizzie's mum doesn't like Seb because he's poor. Sorry, that sounds harsh. Allow us to clarify. Lizzie's mum thinks Seb's nice … but he's also poor.
With the ashes of his Bachelor of Psychology certificate scattered around him, John Aiken proceeds to put words in Lizzie's mouth in order to create a sufficiently dramatic storyline for this episode.
"Are you saying your whole family don't approve of him," he states while nodding at Lizzie wide-eyed.
" … He's … not someone they could see me having a long term future with," she attempts to diplomatically rephrase.
"So that's a no," John states.
"So what happens if their opinion doesn't change?" Dr Trisha asks, jumping aboard the drama train.
"I think it'll change," Lizzie shrugs.
"BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN'T?" Trisha asserts.
"Well … I can't have someone in my life as my partner if my family don't approve of them?" Lizzie replies.
And that's enough for the experts.
"So you will end this relationship if your parents don't come around," Trisha concludes, neatly wrapping up the storyline of Lizzie's parents hating poor people.
It's around now sirens start whirling and Facebook mums start tearing through Coles aisles, punching grandmas in the face in order to secure as much toilet paper as possible. A disaster is about to strike.
Connie and Jonnie roll up to the couch. He rattles on about their uneventful home visit and Connie can't even bring herself to talk.
"Are you all right?" Jonnie asks.
"No, no I'm not all right," she stutters.
She's holding back tears and she's shaking. This is it. It's time for Jonnie to rip off the Bandaid. As much as Connie has been delaying the disaster, so has Jonnie. He doesn't want to firmly break up with her because he's afraid of being the asshole. But word to the wise: in this situation, you'll always be the asshole. No way around it. Just gotta do it.
He holds up his card. He has written "leave" for the third week in a row. Now it's down to Connie. Is she going to delay the inevitable, yet again?
She closes her eyes and sobs. Tears stream down her cheeks as she shoots to her feet and walks off. His decision has ruined her for a third time and she feels like a fool.
"Should … Should I …. Is it OK if I go with her?" he asks the experts, kinda hoping they'll tell him no. If he had any feelings for her at all, he'd run after her without question, damn the consequences.
Out in the hall, he stands an arms-length away, lightly rubbing her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her before encouraging her to come inside. After weeks of light rejection, he's hoping his wife has gotten the point and just lets him out of his misery. He needs this to be done.
And he's close to being relieved. But Connie had an epiphany.
"I started packing my bags this morning," Connie tells the experts through sobs. "It did hit a point where I felt like I have developed feelings for Jonnie. But it got to a point where I deserve to be with someone who wants me as much as I want them. So I made my mind up to go. But something did change. And I really thought about it. And we are at the very end. And … there is just one more stretch to go. And … it just feels like something I have to do. So I did write stay. That was a very last minute decision. And I stand by it."
And just like that, she traps Jonnie in an attempt to delay the disaster even though she has already endured the pain of her husband rejecting her, again and again. Just wow.
Epiphanies should never be trusted. Most of my epiphanies occur at midnight and are usually about going down to the service station to buy ice cream. I can say with confidence both mine and Connie's epiphanies come with guaranteed regret.
"I'm actually speechless to be honest," Jonnie gasps. "I don't know if I haven't been communicating properly … or … if I've done something wrong that could've led to this decision. I don't even know what to say."
No, Jonnie. Your disinterest in Connie, despite claims of mixed messages, has been perfectly clear. Just like Kristian's disinterest in me was clear. But as Jesus said, "Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen".
And now to the question you've all been dying for me to answer. Where's Kristian now? Living in his parent's rec room.